Traditions of the Tongue

We tend to view traditions as a happy, positive thing. When we think of traditions we imagine Christmas Eve with our loved ones or annual summer BBQ games and birthday festivities. Traditions connect us to those around us in meaningful ways. It gives us a sense of belonging and familiarity. But what if there are traditions that aren’t connecting us? What if there are traditions that are disengaging us and leaving us frustrated without even understanding why?

There are.  And those traditions are in the ways we communicate.

We don’t usually think of communication as a form of tradition. Arguably it’s one of the oldest traditions we have though. The way that your parents speak to you is probably almost identical to how their parents spoke with them. Although this is normal, to imitate those around you, it can be rather detrimental if unhealthy forms of communication are passed down subconsciously for generations.

For example, if your family is regularly sarcastic and passive aggressive with their painful feelings rather than having a safe space to express them then that is an unhealthy form of communication. And the way we communicate goes far beyond the words spoken.

What are the ways we communicate?

Verbal and nonverbal.

How are these manifested?

Verbal=words and tones.

Nonverbal=body language.

If a parent does something to hurt a child’s feelings and comes to them to say sorry, but they say it without direct eye contact or their words are beating around the bush, then what is a child going to learn about apologies? That you can say you’re sorry and not mean it. This verbal irony creates a lack of accountability in that child that will be far reaching than just that child alone. 

As you can see, communication is much more than the sounds that come from our vocal chords, it’s a combination of that, our body language and the energy we put into it.

Not only does the way we communicate construct some of our thoughts and feelings but even the language we use can change how a person views themself and the world. 

I think of the language Spanish and how the moon is a "feminine" word. SO when asked about the moon Spanish speakers will give it feminine attributes such as soft, nurturing and beautiful. When English speakers are asked about the moon they dissociate gender and emotion from it and stick to the logistics such as round, bright, big etc. 

There’s an awesome Ted Talk about language and how the languages we use, and the way they are structured, impact how we view the world.

Watch this Ted Talk! Let me know what you learn.